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Few years ago, a young manager came to visit me. He was young, energetic and well-educated person. Besides having a good foreign degree, a well-educated family background, excellent communication skills, very dynamic and posh or smart personality, he was fired from eight different jobs in the past five years. After this experience, he decided to start a business of his own, but again because of some problems with his dealers, employees, or customers he closed down the business within the first six months. At the age of 34, he was still not settled down and had no permanent job or career. He was frustrated and wanted to leave the country for good. His wife was very depressed and at the verge of emotional breakdown. After listening to his sad story, I asked him what was the issue in his opinion. The moment I asked this question he started blaming, criticizing and abusing every one he could have done. He blamed the country and the society for being dishonest, his father for not supporting him, his ex-bosses for being corrupt, his wife and kids for not loving him, instead loving his money. He called the country and its people garbage and what not. It took him about 20 minutes to get his anger and frustration. He literally blamed and abused everyone.

By the end of the first session with him, I was almost sure that the main issue he was facing was his aggression and his inability to accept the responsibility of his life. Instead of telling this to him up front, I asked him to do a little soul searching and try to find out common experiences in all those incidences. After three weeks (in the fourth session), he finally non-willingly concluded that it might be due to his straightforwardness (he called his aggression, straight-forwardness). Anytime he ran into arguments with his peers and bosses and if they had a different point of view than what he offered, he could not take it. Most of the time his point of view used to be somewhat valid but the way he reacted and conveyed it to others was very annoying. Afterwards, he admitted that he could not take a "no" as an answer and it was very difficult and disturbing for him to take a feedback. Well, I told him, "Here is the problem". You have the right to choose and to stay the way you are or change your attitude to change your life. He chose to accept the responsibility of his life and within the first month, he got the job of his choice and since then is doing very well.

Circumstances - what are circumstances? I make circumstances (Napoleon Bonaparte)

Few years ago, a young manager came to visit me. He was young, energetic and well-educated person. Besides having a good foreign degree, a well-educated family background, excellent communication skills, very dynamic and posh or smart personality, he was fired from eight different jobs in the past five years. After this experience, he decided to start a business of his own, but again because of some problems with his dealers, employees, or customers he closed down the business within the first six months. At the age of 34, he was still not settled down and had no permanent job or career. He was frustrated and wanted to leave the country for good. His wife was very depressed and at the verge of emotional breakdown. After listening to his sad story, I asked him what was the issue in his opinion. The moment I asked this question he started blaming, criticizing and abusing every one he could have done. He blamed the country and the society for being dishonest, his father for not supporting him, his ex-bosses for being corrupt, his wife and kids for not loving him, instead loving his money. He called the country and its people garbage and what not. It took him about 20 minutes to get his anger and frustration. He literally blamed and abused everyone. By the end of the first session with him, I was almost sure that the main issue he was facing was his aggression and his inability to accept the responsibility of his life. Instead of telling this to him up front, I asked him to do a little soul searching and try to find out common experiences in all those incidences. After three weeks (in the fourth session), he finally non-willingly concluded that it might be due to his straightforwardness (he called his aggression, straight-forwardness). Anytime he ran into arguments with his peers and bosses and if they had a different point of view than what he offered, he could not take it. Most of the time his point of view used to be somewhat valid but the way he reacted and conveyed it to others was very annoying. Afterwards, he admitted that he could not take a "no" as an answer and it was very difficult and disturbing for him to take a feedback. Well, I told him, "Here is the problem". You have the right to choose and to stay the way you are or change your attitude to change your life. He chose to accept the responsibility of his life and within the first month, he got the job of his choice and since then is doing very well. Circumstances - what are circumstances? I make circumstances (Napoleon Bonaparte)

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